Heritage of Truth Blog from Jeanne Gowen Dennis

The Heart to Go On – Team Support

Wed, 4 Mar 2009 00:00:00 -0500

Wrestling, as I discovered while watching my nephews in a regional tournament, builds character. Although I admired the grit of the young men on the mats, I couldn’t imagine what would make them want to go through the grueling physical punishment of wrestling day after day. My nephew Michael was kind enough to share his insights with me.

“It’s not what makes them want to wrestle, but the persons they are,” he said. “The ones who couldn’t make it have quit by January. The ones that have stayed really want to do it.”

“But what, “ I asked, “gives them the heart to keep on when it looks like a match is impossible to win?”

Michael pondered a minute. “We give it everything in our practices.
We don’t want our hard work to go to waste. It’s both a team and individual sport. You don’t want to give up six points to go against your team, even though you’re out there by yourself.”

He told me that a wrestling team is much like a family—really close, because they spend so many hours together. Michael said that before matches teammates will:

• Help each other warm up.
• Emotionally support one another.
• Encourage one another.
• Pump each other up.
• Go over wrestling moves together.
• Help each other get mentally prepared for the moves they will use in the match.
• Help one another prepare to “wrestle smart.”
• Get each other focused so they don’t “make any stupid mistakes.”

Practices consist of vigorous exercises and workouts, stretching and focusing, warmups, drills, wrestling with teammates, cooling down, stretching, final words from the coach, and social time. The coach also takes time to help out, evaluating each wrestler one on one.

So what can we learn from team wrestling to help us prepare our children and grandchildren to stand firm in their faith? We can train our family to work together like a team. Children face grueling spiritual and emotional battles whenever they encounter the culture, either outside the home or through the media. We can help prepare them for the “matches” they will face as we:

• Help them warm up. Start every day with Scripture and prayer.
• Emotionally support them. Ask gentle questions to help children open up about their questions, fears, and concerns. Then listen with open hearts.
• Encourage them. Remind your children that the powerful God who made them will be with them and go to battle for them if they trust Him.
• Pump them up. “Build up one another.” (1 Thess. 5:11) Help children develop their strengths and strengthen their weaknesses.
• Go over wrestling moves together. Review what the Bible says about how we should deal with sin and temptation. For example, we are to flee from the love of money and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, and perseverance (1 Tim. 6:10–11). Talk about what that means.
• Help them get mentally prepared for the moves they will use in the match. Review what children can do and how they can think biblically when faced with a challenge.
• Help them prepare to “wrestle smart.” Wrestling with sin, temptations, and worldly values is not something children can handle unprepared. Remind them to keep their focus on God. He will help them not to lose heart when they feel like giving up.
• Get them focused so they don’t “make any stupid mistakes.” Make your children accountable to you, to each other, to the church, and to God. Develop a team mentality among your children and grandchildren. Even though they may be fighting the match alone, remind them that they have a whole team behind them. And most of all they have the Creator of all life standing by their side. Remind them to keep their focus on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith (Heb. 12:2).

Wrestling teams spend many hours together every week to build the team relationship. Take time to evaluate and encourage each child one on one and spend as many hours as possible together as a family, supporting, encouraging, and preparing one another for each match, each tournament with the outside world.

As a team (family), cheer each team member on, encourage each one never to give up, even if all looks lost. Help all members work hard at their training so that they won’t want to let their teammates or their Lord down, and so that their hard work will not go to waste.

As you build team spirit in your family, I pray that you as parents and grandparents will develop the heart to persevere—no matter how difficult the fight—and pass on that heritage to your children and grandchildren.

Copyright © 2009 Jeanne Gowen Dennis. U.S. and Worldwide rights reserved.

Never Quit!

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 12:09:35 -0500

For the first time in my life, I sat in the stands watching a wrestling match. Although wrestling has never interested me, I wanted to support my nephews as they competed in the regional tournament in their area. As I watched each pair of young men struggle, I cringed each time a boy had his arm bent backwards, his face crushed into the mat, his body flung to the floor, or his head pushed aside by a shoe. It made me wonder what makes boys want to participate in this highly-aggressive sport.

By observing the wrestlers in action, I gradually found my answer. Those boys were developing the skills to become men. With each match, I watched them grow in determination, perseverance, confidence, skill, and respect for others. So many times a boy would seem to be losing and then he would suddenly defeat the other. Often the opponents would roll on the floor, each gaining the advantage in turn. When it was obvious that wrestlers could not win, they didn’t simply let go and allow themselves to be pinned. They never lost heart. Defeat came only after all their resources had been exhausted.

For example, when one wiry boy found himself repeatedly pressed to the mat with his opponent’s full weight on top of him, he writhed, twisted, or flipped his body to get free. Even when his opponent skidded the boy’s face across the mat or twisted his legs and arms into abnormal positions, he still broke free.

Every time it seemed as if he must surely yield, his skin splotched with friction burns and his face red from exertion, this boy fought all the harder. He persisted through three rounds and lost to his opponent by many points, but he never quit. I concluded that by simply going through this struggle, he must have increased his courage and perseverance, because these sorts of qualities usually grow through hardship.

Later, I told my nephew Michael that I was proud of him and his brother for their performances. He acknowledged that they did pretty well, even though their team won only one match.

“But you never gave up,” I said. “That’s why I was so proud of you.”

Michael looked at me as if I had said something profound. Then he said, “That’s what it’s all about.”

Watching the wrestling tournament, I couldn’t help but think of the apostle James’s admonition, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.(James 1:2–4 NIV). Just think how strong the church would be if its people worked as hard building up their faith as these young men did building up their strength and stamina!

Next time, we’ll examine what it takes to develop such perseverance in young wrestlers and we’ll consider how we might apply it to training our children and grandchildren in their faith.

Meanwhile, take some time to discuss with your children and grandchildren what they think would help them become stronger in their faith. Assure them of your commitment to help them in their efforts.

Copyright © 2009 Jeanne Gowen Dennis. U.S. and Worldwide rights reserved.

Deadly Games

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 14:48:41 -0400

While adults in the USA are fretting over the economy, jobs, the upcoming election and other adult concerns, some of their children are secretly playing a game that could get them killed.

I’m not talking about bad kids. Not the kind that join gangs or threaten one another with knives or guns or take drugs or get drunk. These are the ordinary, everyday young teens. The ones that play in the band. Or play soccer. Or get good grades. And that’s why it’s so important for parents and grandparents to know about this seemingly innocent, highly addictive game. Most of the time, the first inkling parents have that the child has played this game is when they find their child dead.

That’s what happened with thirteen-year-old Jonathan, the young man whose photo appears at the top of this blog entry. When I received an email from his mother asking me to help make others aware of this deadly game, my heart broke for her, and I agreed that we must do all we can to prevent more tragedies like the death of this adventurous, creative, loving young musician.

What is this game? Some call it the “fainting/choking game.” It also goes by other names, such as the “scarf game,” the “blackout game,” the “pass out game, and “space monkey.” Apparently, kids get some sort of “high” from choking themselves until they faint. The problem is that often they don’t wake up again.

Talk with your children and grandchildren about this so-called game. Ask if they’ve ever heard of it, have friends that play it, or have ever tried it themselves. Watch for telltale signs like unexplained belts, ropes, or scarves in their rooms. Jonathan’s mother had noticed the dog’s leash in her son’s room, but since she didn’t know about the game, she didn’t know its significance.

Also take notice if children act lethargic after spending time alone or suddenly start having unexplained seizures, headaches, bloodshot eyes, or rash-like marks on the neck. Most importantly, help them understand that this is not a game, but a deadly deception. Even if the practice doesn’t kill them, it will gradually destroy their brains by starving them of oxygen.

If you find that your children or grandchildren have been playing this game, get professional help right away. Most of all, seek the Lord’s help together as a family. Help your child understand that what we can’t do alone, we can do with Christ’s strength and guidance.

The serious adult problems dominating the media today seem trivial in comparison with the loss of a child. Don’t let your child or grandchild become part of this tragedy. For more information, see the article here.

And while you’re at it, spend some extra time loving on those children.

Copyright © 2008 Jeanne Gowen Dennis. U.S. and Worldwide rights reserved.

Truth or Rhetoric as the Basis for Votes

Sat, 13 Sep 2008 14:58:54 -0400

If you live in the United States, you have probably been keeping up on the progress of the presidential race. Both parties, the Democrats and Republicans, claim to have the answers for improving America’s future.

Your teens and pre-teens have probably been given school assignments related to this year’s national election. Or they may have taken an interest in the presidential election because of its historic significance, with the first African American presidential candidate and the first Republican female candidate for Vice President. Whether your children or grandchildren have shown an interest or not, it is important to train them as future voters.

First of all, remind them that their duty as citizens includes becoming informed voters. Then point out that candidates in the heat of a race will often beat around the bush or say what they think voters want to hear. However, once they are in office, they will usually vote or act in accord with their party, so emphasize with your children and grandchildren the importance of digging deeper and not depending on the media to deliver complete and accurate information.

When investigating any topic, it is always best to go to the source, and in American politics, the source includes the party platforms and the voting records and work experience of the candidates. We will deal here only with the platforms.

Since both parties claim that they are ready for change, it would be a good idea to study the party platforms together with your junior high and high school students. Analyze what each party promises, what they claim to stand for and against, and what their vision is for solving America’s problems and improving her future. Have the teens compile a list for each party, and then compare those ideas with what the Bible teaches about each topic. (You can find the platforms online at these links: Republican Platform and Democratic Platform.)

Then discuss what you believe to be the duties of citizens of this or any other country. Compare this information with our duties as citizens of heaven. When these duties conflict, which one should prevail?

A local elected official here in Florida reportedly told a group of citizens recently that a very small percentage (as low as six percent) of voters can elect a candidate to office. How can this happen? According to this official, few eligible voters are registered to vote, and only a small percentage of those who are registered actually vote (about ten percent in the last election). I don’t know if the percentages he quoted were local or national figures. However, his report illustrates the importance of each and every vote. Special interest groups, or those who care deeply about the issues, will go to the polls, and even if their opinions are not shared by the majority, their choices will prevail if the majority stays home.

Today’s fourteen to seventeen year olds will be voting in the next presidential election. Ten year olds will be eligible to vote in the election after that. Now is the time to teach your children and grandchildren how to discern truth from political rhetoric. These future voters will truly make a difference in America’s future.

Copyright © 2008 Jeanne Gowen Dennis. U.S. and Worldwide rights reserved.

Olympic Moments

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 15:01:39 -0400

I’m sure many of you watched at least part of the Olympics with your children or grandchildren. No doubt the accomplishments of the winning athletes have stirred many young hearts to become great swimmers, gymnasts, runners, equestrians, divers, or team sports players. It happens every four years. In two years, they will be dreaming of becoming great skaters, bobsledders, ice hockey players, or skiers.

The Olympics helps young people believe that they can do great things, and that’s good. Everyone needs dreams and goals. But let’s look at another effect the Olympics might have had on young minds and hearts.

Did you notice that much of the clothing worn by the athletes was more revealing than in past years? Announcers lauded the new high-tech suits and other equipment that allow athletes to perform at higher levels. But as Christians, how should we think about clothes that leave little of the human anatomy to the imagination? How should this apply to the way we dress every day?

The Bible teaches us to dress modestly. And it tells us not to do things that can tempt a weaker person to sin. With all the problems that even Christians are having with pornography, we would be foolish to assume that, just because the partially-clothed bodies on television are performing athletic feats, the exposed skin would not be a source of temptation, especially to young boys. Also, what does it say to young girls about how they should dress?

Now that most schools are open, clothing choices will be a bigger concern for children and youth. Why not open a discussion with your youngsters about the athletic clothing they saw during the Olympics. Ask how they felt about it. Would they be embarrassed for the world or even just their friends to see that much of their bodies? If so, help them to understand that embarrassed feelings would be natural. Even well-sculpted derrieres and female chests belong under cover. Read 1 Corinthians 12:23 and 1 Timothy 2:8–10 together.

Your young people might mention that they wouldn’t want others seeing their bodies because they feel “fat” or they don’t have enough muscles. If your children or grandchildren feel that way, help them to understand that skinny, with or without hard muscles, is not normal. God made them the way they are. They are wonderfully and beautifully made. The culture has filled our eyes and minds with lies about what is truly beautiful. Read Proverbs 6:25 and 31:30 and 1 Peter 3:3–4 together and discuss it. True beauty lies within, not on the outside of a person.

As important as modesty is, young people should be aware that to much of the world, there is nothing wrong with partial or even full nakedness. Some of this is cultural and innocent; some of it is because people who do not know Christ may not see their own sinfulness clearly. In American culture, however, scant clothing is usually a source of temptation.

Psalm 101:2–4 talks about how we should live a blameless life, keep our eyes from vile things, and have nothing to do with evil. Talk with your children or grandchildren about how they can put these verses into practice, both at home and at school.

Even though few of them will ever make it to the Olympics, your children and grandchildren may be dreaming Olympics-sized dreams right now. Encourage them to reach for their goals. More importantly, help them to strive for the greater goal of a holy and blameless life. That’s an Olympic-sized dream that really can come true, with the help of God.

Copyright © 2008 Jeanne Gowen Dennis. U.S. and Worldwide rights reserved.